Thursday, March 29, 2012


(on a side note I think the mark on her head looks like the emblem for Cobra)

You may have already heard mommy side, Well it’s time to hear Daddy’s. I will start off by saying that I am in trouble. I’m writing because I feel compelled to tell you. For some time now, I have been what I call “missing a soul”. This started back when I was 12/13 Life was rough for me back then, but that is not the point of this story. Since that time in my life I have been missing my feelers. Not much shocks me, not much makes me mad, because of my “I do not care” attitude. There have been small instances in my life that have sparked this feeling of a soul. To list some; meeting my wife, some of my temple experiences, and moments of clarity. And yesterday my daughter Keladry was born. Now people had told me that this will change your life and yada yada yada. So I kept waiting for something. Well nothing happened. Then not ten minutes ago I was sitting in the glider here in our hospital room, comforting my new child. She was being quite fussy, after a bit she settled right down, and lifted her head up and “kissed my neck”(this is my story and I will call it a kiss) and something inside my well-built Fortress of not caring broke, And it appears I still have a soul. Albeit a little soul, so far it is not reaching much past my little family. And I don’t think it will anytime soon. (baby steps) Earlier I stated that I am in trouble. This is due to the fact that I will never be able to tell her No. This is not to say I will not stop her from doing the things that will hurt her, but when the time comes when she starts to play the mommy against daddy game, she might just get her way with daddy. To quote one of liana friends Leif “Now, Russ, please understand that you will soon have significant chiropractor bills as little girls know how to tightly wrap their dads around their little fingers.....” I am looking forward to the things to come, and it has been a long time since I have had this feeling.
She is my Hope.


  1. You're in Big trouble...

    I only have a Niece, not a daughter, and I KNOW i'm wrapped like a ribbon around her finger. It can only be worse for you :)


  2. Russ! I had no idea you could be so mushy:) You are already such an amazing dad. I've always thought you were a great guy, and never once did I think "this guy has no soul!" You sell yourself short. Keladry is such a lucky girl to have such wonderful parents.